Sometimes a photo is worth a thousand words

This is Space Shuttle Endeavour, flying over the Griffith Park Observatory with Downtown Los Angeles in the background. Happy retirement, Endeavour.

Putting the cork in baseball champagne baths

--by Josh Suchon

While reading a story this morning about Dodgers pitcher Jamey Wright, who expressed how much he wants the opportunity to get champagne sprayed in his eyes and feel that burn for the first time in his career, it got me thinking about the champagne protocol in light of baseball’s new postseason.

Under the new rules this year, a second wild card team was added. The two wild cards will meet in a one-game, winner-take-all showdown to advance to the best-of-5 division series.

Will the teams that “win” a wild card berth spray each other with champagne to celebrate reaching a one-game playoff? Will the teams that win the one-game playoff pop the bubbly to celebrate winning a single game?

I’m in favor of neither. If I had to pick one, I originally thought that clinching the wild card berth would be better, since it’s a reward for a 162-game season. My friend and colleague Jeff Fletcher point out on Twitter that the one-game playoff is essentially game 163 in the season, and the celebration should take place after winning that game. I still want neither, but I agree with Fletch.

Overall, this year is the perfect time for baseball to overhaul its champagne celebration tradition.

The Oakland A's after winning the '72 World Series.

Back before I was born, it was pretty simple. Two leagues. One champion each. You celebrated winning the division/pennant. Then if you won the World Series, you celebrated again.

Then came division play in 1969 and the League Championship Series’. This led to a third celebration: division, pennant, and World Series.

Then came the wild card and another round of the playoffs in 1995. This led to a fourth celebration: winning the division (or wild card), winning the division series, winning the LCS, and winning World Series.

Now, are some teams really going to celebrate five times?

Champagne celebrations are definitely a baseball thing. In basketball and football and hockey, teams don’t celebrate advancing to the next round of the playoffs with champagne. 

The only time you spray each other with champagne is if you win the whole thing.

Baseball’s love affair with champagne celebrations has led to some odd occurrences, especially with the Dodgers.

In 1996, the Dodgers clinched a playoff berth. They held a three-game lead over the Padres with three games left, which would be head-to-head. Both teams were going to the playoffs no matter what. If the Dodgers won once, they’d be the division champs. Even if they were swept, they’d still be wild card winners. They didn’t celebrate clinching a playoff spot. They were swept by the Padres, and even though they were the wild card winners, champagne didn’t seem appropriate. Then they were swept in the division series. They never sprayed champagne at all.

In 2008, the Dodgers clinched the division title in the middle of the day, about five hours before their game. They watched the Diamondbacks lose, and went around the clubhouse hugging each other in celebration. Then they played their game. They lost the game … and celebrated with champagne anyway.

In 2009, the Dodgers clinched a playoff berth in Pittsburgh, but it remained to be seen if they’d win the division or merely the wild card. Manager Joe Torre made the decision that a champagne toast was fitting. They’d save the real partying for winning the division. Then they lost five straight games and panic set in. Not panic about reaching the playoffs. That was assured. It was panic about not being able to spray champagne and party. The Dodgers finally clinched the division on the penultimate day of the season and got very wet.

The decisions on when to celebrate, when to toast, and when to shake hands, are made on a team-by-team basis. It’s not like Major League Baseball sends out an edict. If the Commissioner’s Office did, surely they’d be lambasted for getting involved, or curtailing some fun.

In 2012, with five potential celebrations in less than a month, it’s time for individual teams to take a stand and reverse the ridiculousness.

You should get two celebrations. That’s it.

If you clinch the division, go ahead and celebrate. It took you 162 games. That’s your reward.

If you reach the playoffs and win the one-game playoff in Game 163, and you really feel the need to celebrate, I guess I’m OK with it.

If you win the World Series, it goes without saying, go nuts. You earned it.

But please, no more champagne baths for winning the division series and league championship series.

“40 Before 40” checklist -- No.4 -- Watch a movie in the Hollywood Cemetery

On my 39th birthday, I made a list of "40 things to do before turning 40." Each time I check an item off the list, I'll write about it here. This is item No. 4, watching a movie at the Hollywood Cemetery.

--by Josh Suchon

Watching a movie in the Hollywood Cemetery is similar to attending a football game. It’s more than a game (or movie). The movie is almost an after-thought. This is an (almost) all-night event, similar to tailgating. Except you’re not in a car and there’s definitely no BBQing. This is picnicking around the dead.

I felt right at home.

Thanks to my friends Emilie and Tyler, I was invited to join them last Saturday to see the Woody Allen movie “Manhattan” projected against a big white wall, surrounded by a bunch of really expensive tombstones and caskets.

Emilie and Tyler made sure we got there early. Very early. The movie started at 8 pm. The gates opened at 6:30 pm. Emilie and Tyler were there about 4:30 pm, making sure we were near the front of the line. I got there around 5:30 pm.

What do you do for an hour? Duhh. You drink. And eat. And play games. We had no shortage of any of these items. I did learn that certain games are better than others. The hosts made it clear they prefer games that involve “yelling out the answers.”

Don’t unpack all your food right away. Save the bigger items for when you get inside the cemetery. Start with the finger foods that are easy to put away because, all of a sudden, everybody suddenly stands-up and heads into the cemetery. You don’t want to be putting away your food as others trample past you.

Once you walk inside the gates, you want to mark your turf. As the seasoned professionals they are, Emilie and Tyler had blankets to spread out on the grass. You’re not supposed to bring those tall beach chairs. That makes it tough for the people behind you to see. You want the chairs where you barely sit above the ground. Or just lay on your blanket with a pillow.

To our left, we saw a guy bring the hugest pillow/bed hybrid ever. It looked very comfortable. It looked so comfortable, in fact, I can’t imagine how he stayed awake through the movie. Turns out, most people end up falling asleep. Maybe it’s the wine. Maybe it’s because you get sick of hearing Woody Allen’s whiny voice.

Since the movies are all classics, it’s not always a typical movie-watching crowd. On this night, people were pretty quiet (or asleep). I’m told that when they showed "Purple Rain" recently, it turned into an outdoor karaoke concert, with people singing along and dancing to Prince’s songs.

Bringing a lantern is a good idea too. After the sunset, you can’t see much. It’s pretty much pitch black. The most amusing part of the evening is watching somebody go to the bathroom, and then struggle to remember where their group is located. 

The amusement stops when they eat your food, trip over your feet, or block your view for more than a few minutes. The lantern is a good landmark to find your friends, and to make sure you don’t forget anything afterward. 

Tickets are a $10 donation. Buy them in advance online.

Parking is $15 at the cemetery (starting at 6:30). Other nearby lots charge about the same. We lucked out and found a free spot in the neighborhood.

Only two shows remain this summer – True Romance on Sept. 15, and The Exorcist on Sept. 22.

I highly recommend doing this. Very glad I put this on my list, and checked it off quickly. I’ll definitely be back and make this a regular staple of my summer time activities.

Top 10 most famous Foothill High alums

-- by @Josh_Suchon

A recent brief Twitter exchange between myself and former classmate Gabrielle Union got me thinking about the most famous alums at my high school. A quick check of Wikipedia showed that either my school is either really pathetic in developing famous people, or Wikipedia needs some help. Either way, I decided it was time to research my school further, and compile a list.

My school is Foothill High in Pleasanton, Calif., a middle-class suburb in the East Bay. It’s a fairly new school. It was founded in 1973 with a freshman-only class. Each year, a new freshman class was added, and the first graduating class was 1977.

The list will probably be a work-in-progress, as more names are brought to my attention. 

But for now, here goes:

1. Actress Gabrielle Union (Class of 1991)

Union was in my graduating class. It was easy to remember Nicky, as she was called back then, primarily because she was one of two black females in our graduating class. She was an all-league point guard on the girls basketball team, was involved in student government and leadership, and ran on the track team.

In college, Union started at Nebraska and played soccer briefly, then went to Cuesta College, then to UCLA, where she planned on attending law school and becoming a lawyer. Union did an internship at a modeling agency that changed her life. The agency realized she should be getting photographed, not making coffee and copies, and her modeling career was launched. That led to some acting roles.

Her break-through role was in 2000’s “Bring it On” as the cheerleader from the rival black school, opposite Kirsten Dunst. Union was in the blockbuster hit “Bad Boys II” and also “Deliver Us from Eva.” She appeared on a memorable 2001 episode of “Friends” when Joey and Ross were both into her. It was memorable because she was the first black character ever on the New York-based show. Her IMDB page lists all her credits.

Union is currently dating Miami Heat superstar Dwyane Wade, she was ranked 52^nd in Maxim’s “100 Sexiest Women” in 2002, and she has a couple new projects that should be in theaters in 2013.

Most impressive to her former classmates, she attended the 10- and 20-year reunions, and graciously posed for photos – even with people who didn’t know her then, but wanted to show off to their friends and kids by getting a photo with her. 

Same old Nicky. Just goes by Gabrielle now.

2. SF Giants shortstop Brandon Crawford (class of 2005)

In our second update of the Top-10 Foothill High alums, Brandon Crawford rockets from sixth to second place, after helping the San Francisco Giants win the 2012 World Series.

Crawford was born in Mountain View, and his family moved to Pleasanton when he was in grammar school. His parents were die-hard Giants fans and he went to numerous games as a kid. 

In fact, a San Francisco Chronicle photographer took a cute photo of him on the final day of the 1992 season, when the Giants appeared to be moving to St. Petersburg, Fla. The photo resurfaced and accompanied a column that Ann Killion wrote for the Chronicle during the 2012 playoffs.

After playing for the Falcons, Crawford attended UCLA and led the Bruins to three consecutive trips to the NCAA Regionals. He was named the team MVP in 2006 and 2007.

The Giants selected him in the fourth round of the 2008 draft. Crawford sped through the Giants farm system because of his superb defense. The offense was slow to come around, but it greatly improved during the 2012 season.

In the playoffs, Crawford delivered some clutch hits, and also laid down sacrifice bunts or whatever else was necessary. Defensively, he was simply sensational, and the world saw it on the biggest stage. In fact, Dodgers catcher A.J. Ellis called him the best defensive shortstop in the majors. 

Crawford becomes the first Foothill High alum to win a world championship in a team sport.

This is his baseball-reference.com page, which includes all his career stats.

3. LPGA golfer Paula Creamer (didn’t graduate)

I’m still researching just how long Creamer attended Foothill High. It wasn’t very long, maybe a year or even only a semester. She grew up in Pleasanton, lived in Castlewood, and her backyard was essentially the country club golf course. That’s where she learned golf.

Creamer became so good, her family moved to Florida and she attended The Pendleton School, a private school for elite athletes, while honing her game at the David Leadbetter Golf Academy. Creamer qualified for the LPGA on her first attempt, and won Rookie of the Year in 2005.

Since then, Creamer’s won nine tournaments, finished in the top-10 81 times, and has over $9 million in career earnings. She’s nicknamed “the Pink Panther” because she loves the color pink, usually wears pink on the course, and often uses a pink ball.

We’re claiming her as a Falcon, even if we’re not sure how long she was actually on campus.

4. Former NFL defensive lineman Keith Millard (class of 1981)

Millard came from relative obscurity to play nine years in the NFL, most notably with the Minnesota Vikings. He was a Pro Bowler in 1988 and 1989, still holds the NFL record for sacks (18) in a season by a defensive tackle, and was the NFL Defensive Player of the Year in 1989. He suffered a major knee injury the next season and was never the same.

At Foothill, Millard played linebacker and tight end. He was kicked off the football team early in his senior season after a fight on the field. His only scholarship offer was at Washington State, where he was initially a tight end. After moving to the defensive line, Millard blossomed into a pass-rushing monster and was drafted in the first round, 13^th overall, by the Vikings.

Millard had a tough childhood, filled with abuse, acted out frequently, suffered from low self-esteem, and always had a pretty big temper. His mom kicked him out the house in his senior year, after he threw a rager of a party, when she was out of town, that thrashed the house.

This lengthy Sports Illustrated article is filled with great details, including quotes from our beloved Economics teacher, George “Dr. B” Baljevich. Millard considered joining the Marines, but Baljevich convinced him to stay in school and let Millard live with him.

Millard is currently a coach with the Tennessee Titans. He’s also coached the Raiders, the Bucs, in the short-lived XFL, and at Merced College.

5. Professional golfer Todd Fischer (class of 1988)

In high school, Fischer was overshadowed on the golf team by teammate Bryan Pemberton. Fischer was always a quiet, well-liked student. I recall he was a benchwarmer on the basketball team, and the students would chant “We Want Fisch” when a victory was in hand. The students would go crazy if Fisch entered the game, and crazier if he made a basket.

Fischer's truly calling was golf, however, and he played at the University of San Francisco. The word "grinded” is probably the best way to describe his professional career. He played on the Nationwide Tour and PGA tour from 2001-2011. On the PGA, Fischer had four third-place finishes. He won the 2002 Fort Smith Classic on the Nationwide Tour, and also won the 2009 Northern California Open.

According to thePGA’s website, Fischer’s earned over $550,000 in winnings. That probably doesn’t include earnings on the Nationwide Tour.  

6.Guitarist Ryan Roxie (class of 1983)

Out of all the Foothill alums researched, discovering Ryan Roxie was most exciting to me because I’d never heard of him before. But thanks to Wikipedia and Google, I learned that he played with Alice Cooper. He was recommended to Cooper in 1996, proved himself in an audition, toured for a year with Cooper, and recorded the studio album Brutal Planet in 2000. 

Roxie currently lives in Stockholm, Sweden and founded a band called Roxie 77. In case you’re wondering, he’s reached the maximum number of friends allowed on his Facebook page. You can follow him on Twitter @RyanRoxie, but he’s not a frequent tweeter. His website is very detailed and you can listen to a lot of his music there.

The Wikipedia page, which you always have to take with a grain of salt, provides a lot more details about his musical career. It’s a fascinating look at a Falcon that most of us probably didn’t know.

7. KPIX anchor Juliette Goodrich (Class of 1986)

Goodrich is the ultimate feel-good Pleasanton/Bay Area story, since she managed to stay so close to home. After graduating from Foothill, she went to college at UC Davis. Her broadcasting career began at the local TV 30 in Pleasanton. Goodrich paid her dues, advancing in market sizes from Redding to Chico to Davis and then San Francisco.

This bio on the KPIX website lists all of her accomplishments and Emmy awards.

In the mid-2000’s, Goodrich returned to Foothill for the annual “Alumni Career Day” and we shared the same classroom. 

She told the class the favorite story of her reporting career, at least at the time, was her exclusive coverage of international fugitive James Nivette’s capture in France.

8. Former NFL offensive lineman Rich Moran (Class of 1981)

Like most offensive lineman, Moran led a fairly anonymous life in the trenches. He played for nine years in the NFL, all with the Green Bay Packers, after they drafted him in the third round in 1985 out of San Diego State. (As a fellow Aztec, it pains me not to move Moran up higher on this list.)

Moran and Millard were teammates at Foothill High, and remained good friends. They went head-to-head twice a year when the Packers and Vikings met.

I found an article about those two that can’t be linked, but I was able to capture two screen shots. If you zoom into the photos, you can read the article that provides great details about their background in Pleasanton. 

It’s pretty funny how they ripped former Foothill coach Frank Sullivan for not wanting John Madden to help out on the team.

Rich’s father, Jim Moran, founded Professional Sports Marketing in 1986 and negotiated four of Rich’s contracts with the Packers. After Jim passed away, Rich took over and is now president of the company. 

So for any future Foothill High football players, if you ever make the NFL, you can always keep it in the Falcon Family by hiring Moran to represent you.

9. Bassmaster fisherman Mark Tyler (Class of 1991)

This is a pretty cool story because Tyler was part of my graduating class, I knew him extremely well going back to third grade, and I remember him saying that he was going to a professional Bass Master when he grew up. I didn’t know what that meant, and I really didn’t know that you could make a living catching fish. 

But I’ll be damned, you can, and Tyler has done it very well. According to the Bassfan website, Tyler earned over $350,000 – and that was only through 2009. That doesn’t include the money you make in sponsorships, which are the most lucrative. This article shows Tyler signing with Denali Rods.

The bottom of Tyler’s Bassfan page mentions he likes to play basketball when he isn’t fishing. That made me smile, since Tyler was on my youth basketball team, I definitely remember he always stuck his tongue when he was shooting the ball (like Michael Jordan), and I spent countless days playing H-O-R-S-E with him in the driveways of Valley Trails.

This YouTube video shows Tyler giving his advice on swimbait techniques. I have no idea what that means, but I'm impressed.

10. Arizona Diamondbacks pitcher Brad Bergesen (Class of 2004)

Bergesen was drafted in the fourth round of the 2004 draft by the Baltimore Orioles. He made his debut in 2009 and was a member of the Orioles rotation for most of the 20010 season. He struggled in 2011 and has spent most of the last two seasons in the minors. This is his baseball-reference page with all his career stats.

In July 2012, the Orioles placed Bergesen on waivers, and the Diamondbacks claimed him. They called him up to the majors and put him in the bullpen, where’s pitched well and remains right now (a 2.66 ERA in 12 appearances at the time this was published). 

***

Honorable mention (listed alphabetically):

Greg Christian (Class of 1983) was one of the original members of Bay Area thrash metal band Testament. Christian was the bassist through 1996, then rejoined the band in 2004. He also played with the band HavocHate and recorded their 2005 album, "Cycle of Pain."

Todd Davis (Class of 1990) was the runner-up on Season 2 of HGTV’s “Design Star.” You can view one of his projects here (after the commercial). 

Erin Kelley (Class of 1988) made a guest appearance on one episode of The Real World Los Angeles in 1993.

Sean Mannion (Class of 2010) is the starting quarterback at Oregon State University. Many people in football circles consider him a future NFL quarterback. If so, he'll move into the Top 10 of this list. What we like most is that in his college bio, he lists beating Amador Valley all three times on varsity as his biggest athletic thrill.

Amy McBride attended Foothill as a freshman, before moving to Utah and graduating in 1990. She attended Arizona State University, where she met and later married golfer Phil Mickelson. McBride has fought a courageous public fight with breast cancer over the last year.

Clayton Stroope (Class of 2002?) is the lead singer of the band Thriving Ivory, which was named a VH1 "You Oughta Know" band. Stroope founded the band at UC Santa Barbara with keyboardist Scott Jason in the mid-2000s. They spent three years of touring non-stop to promote their self-released albums, and they've now signed with a major label. You can hear some of their music at the band's website, or go to YouTube, where over 487,000 have viewed their hit song "Angels on the Moon." 

Jason Tarver (Class of 1993) is the defensive coordinator for the Oakland Raiders. Traver played defensive back at West Valley College in 1994-95, then went into coaching almost immediately at the same school. He was a graduate assistant at UCLA from 1998-2000, offensive quality control coach for the 49ers in 2001, 49ers linebacker coach from 2002-2010, Stanford’s defensive coordinator in 2011, and was hired in Feb. 2012 to be the Raiders defensive coordinator. If he can improve the Raiders defense and get to the Super Bowl, I guarantee that I'll move him into the Top 10.

Rob Williams (Class of 1988) is the co-host of the “Rob, Arnie & Dawn” radio show in Sacramento. When I was a low-life freshman, Williams was a senior and the sports editor of the campus newspaper, InFlight, and he assigned me stories. Even back then, Williams had all the tools to be successful in his current job: opinionated, passionate, witty … and terrible at sports himself.

***

This is not a finished list. It will continue to be updated. If there's somebody who's been forgotten, send me a note about their accomplishments, and they will be noted when this post is updated.

***

If you liked this blog post, you might also like this tribute to my former Foothill High classmate Jeff Coulthart.

Sharpie Scribbles Chapter XII: The Pre-Fame Scribble

-- by Matt Hurst

As I've said before, I'm not a big autograph chaser. But if someone offers and I genuinely get excited at the prospect of getting someone's signature, then hell yes, count me in.

This happened in my final weeks working at UC Santa Barbara.

We had two bona fide student-athletes who were stars. Not on the Matt Barkley or Anthony Davis level, but pretty big time athletes in their respective fields.

One is basketball player Orlando Johnson, now a member of the Indiana Pacers. UCSB is a good mid-major basketball school ... not great, but pretty good. To have a player come from our school and get into the NBA, well that doesn't happen often.

I was very fortunate to work with Orlando in a variety of ways during his three years at UCSB and you might hear this a lot, but trust me on this - you won't find a better human being. Especially considering what he has gone through in his life (read about it here). Our last creative video shoot together was one of my absolute favorites.





The other bona fide star we had is someone you might have never heard of, but I hope someday you will.
Barbara Nwaba is a heptathlete who missed making the 2012 Olympics by two spots. Earlier in the year she was ranked No. 1 in the country.

Yes, the best heptathlete in the United States was cruising through our hallways in Santa Barbara and was someone you always loved to see.

Like Orlando, she was always smiling and always willing to do whatever it took to help UCSB look good. Whether it was constant interviews or doing wild video ideas, Barbara was a pleasure to work with.

Nwaba was featured on the cover of the UCSB Athletics bi-annual magazine and in late June an academic advisor walked past some of the offices of people Barbara knew. She asked if we'd like Barbara to sign a copy of the magazine before she left Santa Barbara for good - the Olympics now on her radar.

I thought about it for a moment, thought about asking a 22-year-old heptathlon stud for an autograph, especially because it's not really my thing.

Quick tangent: I am not a huge fan of the Olympics. I think most of the sports are ridiculous and that you shouldn't be allowed to win a medal for ping pong, trampoline and the like.

But to have one of the best athletes in the world, someone who competes in seven high-intensity track and field events in a two-day stretch, willing to sign an autograph ... well, I decided I couldn't pass that up.

She signed it "2 Matt: I'll never forget my first radio interview at the Beachside Cafe. Thanks for all the laughs!"

I co-hosted a weekly radio talk show for UCSB last year and I had Barbara as a guest one night when I was rolling solo on the show. She was great, coming to my office for prep work and then was super smooth on the air even though she admitted being nervous.

I asked her if she logged online to see the national rankings in the heptathlon and to see her name at the top. She said she had and I wanted to know if she took a screen shot or at least printed them out. She hadn't.

Two days later I ran into her on campus and she said "Thank you so much for your idea on the radio. I took a picture of the page."

She was so humble that she didn't want to appear arrogant at the suggestion of boasting about being the best in the nation at a grueling sport. But I'm sure her parents were listening to the show online and then urged her to do so - that she would want it sometime down the road to show her kids. I could tell, through her gratitude and smile that she was glad she had and had appreciated my idea.

I have Willie Mays autograph somewhere. I came across a photo of me and Kobe Bryant that he signed.

Yet, to me, Barbara Nwaba's personalized autograph is just as good. To imagine her as an Olympian in 2016 in the heptathlon and to know that I got to know her as a college undergrad seems pretty cool to me.

Final thoughts on Barbara ...

At the end of the year we put on an awards show, called "The SB Awards" and over the years it has become a pretty legitimate and big-time production.

This year we kind of went over the top and had several shorts that were played through the night and then combined into a movie of sorts. Based on "The Hunger Games" we called these "The Gaucho Games."

During our shooting of various student-athletes battling each other for ultimate Gaucho supremacy, Barbara was training for the Olympic Trials. Yet, she had to be the star of this movie-esque production. She had to film segment after segment, sometimes for hours at a time and during several days over a two-week period. And, she never said no. Never batted an eyelash.

There was no doubt in anyone's minds around the athletic offices that Barbara should be the final winner of The Gaucho Games. In fact, when the other student-athletes asked "So, who's going to win this thing?" and we replied that Barbara would, they all nodded and said "Good. She should."

No one argued with the pick.

Check out the video below ... it's pretty funny and even has a cameo by yours truly.

UPDATED: How to win your Survivor Football Pool

--by Josh Suchon

My favorite football pool goes by many names. Some call it an Eliminator Pool. Others say “Last man standing” Pool. I’ve always known it as a Survivor Pool.

The basic rules: you pick one NFL game each week, point spreads don’t matter. If you win, you advance to the next week. If you lose, you’re done. In most of these pools, once you pick a team once, you can’t pick them again. I’m in a pool where you can pick the same team three times. I don’t like that rule, but I’m not the Commissioner. But in most pools, you can only pick a team once.

I’ve won two Survivor Pools in the last decade. I went 17-for-17 two years ago and split the pot with four others. I made it to Week 11 last year before losing, and week 9 three years ago. In 2003, I was one of two finalists and we split the first- and second-place money (a nice Christmas bonus for each of us).

These are my rules for how to win your Survivor Pool.

1. Never save a pick for later in the season. Depending on the entries in your pool, very few last 17 weeks. A lot of them don’t last 10 weeks. Don’t plan ahead. It’s all about winning each week. Don’t save New England for Week 5. Tom Brady can blow out a knee in Week 3 and you wouldn’t want to take the Patriots in Week 5.

2. Look at the point spread to decide on your candidates. The oddsmakers in Vegas are the smartest people in the room. No matter how much you think you know about football, the oddsmakers know more. Look at the five biggest point spreads each week. You should be picking one of those five teams. That team doesn’t have to cover. They just have to win. It goes without saying you shouldn’t ever take an underdog.

3. Don’t ever take your favorite to win or lose. My favorite team is the Raiders. I don’t ever pick them to win. Or lose. You have enough emotions going through your body when your favorite team plays. Don’t compound that anxiety by picking them to win, and don’t do something that will make you feel OK about your favorite team losing. Not to mention, you’re not very objective about your favorite team. They’re not as good as you think they are. They’re not as bad as you think they are. Just avoid your team.

4. Take the home team on Thursday night games, if the visiting team is in a short week. Road teams face a massive challenge. Play a game on Sunday, heal on Monday, prepare on Tuesday, fly on Wednesday, and play on Thursday? Unless the visiting team is dramatically better, and it’s a short flight (like Oakland to San Diego), take the home team. Not only will they win, they will win easily. If a team is traveling three time zones on a short week, they’re toast. Note: this does not apply in Week 1. Teams aren’t in their usual routine yet.

5. Avoid taking the road team in general. The deeper you get into your Survivor Pool, you might have to break this rule. This rule can be broken in extreme circumstances, like a 9-1 team playing on the road against a 1-9 team. Even then, I get nervous. The double-extra detail on this rule is don’t ever take an East Coast team playing on the West Coast. Recent studies on the effect of time-zone change on a body suggest it’s harder to go West and perform at an optimal level than it is to travel East. With replacement refs, it’s also natural to think the penalty flags they throw will be affected by the home crowd’s reaction.

6. Ride the worst team(s) in the league. Once you get to around Week 7-8, it’s clear which teams are the worst. You can’t pick the best team to win every week. But you can pick the worst team to lose every week. Personally, I get nervous taking a winless team, like an 0-7, because they have so much pride, they’ll try extra hard to avoid the embarrassment of a winless season. But once they’ve lost, I love riding the opponent of that hopeless team week after week.

7. Don’t take a rookie quarterback early in the year. Most of the time, a rookie will only start at quarterback if the team was lousy the year before, so this is usually a moot point. But it’s such a huge adjustment from college to the NFL, it’s hard to win. The deeper you get into the season, then it’s not as risky to pick a team with a rookie quarterback. The secondary rule is be wary of picking against the rookie quarterback early in the year. We just don’t know how Andrew Luck and Robert Griffin III will respond the first few weeks. This year, avoid the Colts and Redskins altogether the first few weeks, until you get a better read on the rookies.

8. Avoid rivalry games. You know that cliché “throw out the records” when these rivals meet? Remember it. Avoid a Giants-Cowboys, or Raiders-Chiefs, or any other type of strong rivalry game. Crazy things happen when rivals meet. Keep this in mind in Week 1 this year.

9. Never select a team that’s using a backup quarterback. It’s the most important position on the field, and affects the outcome more than any other. If the starter is definitely out, don’t select that team. If the quarterback is doubtful or even questionable, avoid that team if possible. You’re only picking one game a week, you can find a healthy quarterback.

10. Don’t save a pick. Can’t stress this enough. That’s why it’s listed twice. Don’t. Ever. Save. A. Pick.

Most of the time, you can’t follow all 10 of these rules. You want to follow as many of these as possible each week.

When it comes to Week 1, know in advance that it’s the hardest week. It’s the most unpredictable week. There’s not much information you can use. Don’t get fooled by exhibition game results. When in doubt, follow the rules to eliminate potential obstacles.

Good luck in your Survivor Pool.

And, don’t forget, never save a pick.

Ever.

UPDATE at 6 pm on Sept. 16, 2012: After the first two weeks of the 2012 season, I've added a few more rules:

11. Don't use the same team on multiple entries. I'm actually not a fan of multiple entries in Survivor Pools. If you do it, then you start thinking about the two best locks, instead of just one lock. Now you have to be correct twice each week. I know a lot of people use multiple entries. I'm doing it this year for the first time ever, and only by accident. I nearly picked the New England Patriots on both entries in Week 2. A couple people I know did double-up -- and they got burned. Really glad I didn't make that mistake, or else both entries would be out. If you are going to double-up on multiple entries, only do it late in the season when you're options are thin.


12. Beware of the team "everybody" is picking. Unless you're the Commissioner of your Survivor Pool, you won't know what teams are being picked by everybody else. But if enough of your friends are involved and you're paying attention, you can get a sense of who the majority like. In Week 2, the Patriots were the overwhelming top pick. They're a great team, playing at home, against a poor team, it's not a rivalry game, and there was a big spread. It was the natural selection, unless you were "saving" New England. In a week like this, be cautious. If that overwhelming favorite gets upset, and you took somebody else, you can be in great shape. If you take the same team as the overwhelming majority, and that team wins, it doesn't help you much. In my pool, 163 of the 418 entries (39%) were eliminated by the Patriots.


13. Don't brag about your expertise in making picks. Stay humble. The NFL Survivor Gods don't like it when you act like you have this game figured out. It's the NFL. Strange things happen all the time. Put another way, don't write a blog post pretending like you have all the answers.

Good luck.